Nine of the Worst Bible Puns



I have learned in years as: a former youth minister, pulpit minister, and religious educator, that young people (and others) are lovers of Bible puns.  While they may not be for everyone (and some may see them as sacrilegious) they nonetheless seem to find their way into sermons and Sunday School classes.

With that said, here are some of the all time “groaners” in the Bible pun stakes.

  1. We all know God is a sports fan, as we find Cricket (or Baseball) referenced at the start of the Bible: “In the big inning (Genesis 1: 1).
  2. The fall is found early in the Bible.  When sin enters the world Adam blamed Eve, and Eve blamed the serpent. And the snake didn’t have a leg to stand on (Genesis 3: 10-13).
  3. The first reference to smoking is found in Genesis 24, of course, as it clearly notes that Rebekah alighted her camel (Genesis 24: 64).
  4. Joseph was something of a sportsman.  In fact, tennis seems to be his game. “He was thirty years old when he began serving in the court of Pharaoh . . .  (Genesis 41:46 NLT).”
  5. Moses of course is the greatest sinner of the Pentateuch. After all he did break all ten commandments (Exodus 32:19). 
  6. The shortest character in the scripture of course is Knee-high-miah (Nehemiah).
  7. “My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge;” therefore, the Bible is like a medicine to cure the thick (Hosea 4: 6).
  8. There was great disappointment for the town of Bethany in the recent games, as they failed to get a podium position.  Yes, Lazarus came fourth (John 11: 43-44).
  9. “There was a certain man in Caesarea called Cornelius, a centurion of the band called the Italian band . . . ” He was clearly an officer and a Gentile-man (Acts 10: 1).

There are others that are widely used as well, such as “Moses’, (or Joshua’s, or David’s) Triumphs [motorcycles or sports-cars], but these are far more paraphrases and therefore lack clear chapter and verse references.

Hopefully you will have seen these in the spirit intended (a little fun), and I will return to some serious biblical reflections of Witness Wednesday (if not sooner).



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