I have again been struggling with big questions about my own health, work, and the way forward. I have tried too long to deal through my own strength. This has only led to more stress.
A couple of weeks ago, I was feeling the inadequacy of my own efforts. I felt swamped by the burdens I was piling upon myself (more than just what the circumstances of my wife’s illness, and life and general were presenting). In that despair I was presented randomly with a passage on Facebook: Jeremiah 29:11 “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future’.” This was marvelous as it said He had a plan for me. I found relief in that, but I still held some of myself back. I needed to trust Him, over me!
The result of holding back was another day of despair. I had yet to fully surrender (an ongoing process, I am learning). I have spent this afternoon asking for guidance, and seeking the same kind of peace I found back on the 18th.
Then the message became clear. No Facebook posting this time, but the “still small voice.” It reminded me of the words of Isaiah 55:8-9:
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”
I did again find some measure of relief. He is reminding me to let go, to open my eyes, my heart, and my spirit to His ways.
I do not as of yet have all the answers to the questions before me, nor in the path He wants me to follow, but I now have comfort that the answers are there. Not for me to invent through my own cunning or effort, but rather they are their to discover if I only stop and listen to His Spirit.
Lord help me to think as you do, and trust in you.