It is a tough job, but somebody’s got to do it. I am a guard at a maximum security specialist facility. For six hours a day I pace the rails and monitor the inmates below. Oh, some of them look bright and friendly with their garish colours, or unobtrusive in their tell tale stripes, but don’t let that fool you. There are some seriously shady characters down there. They are hedged in by shark infested waters and our concrete walls and iron railings. If they had their way they wouldn’t let you see the light of day. So, I will not shirk in my duties. I will not allow “parasol peril” to be loosed on society. No – never on my watch.