The Release

Fountain Pen, Letter, Handwriting

image: Pixabay

Dom passed a note to Ben which read, In 2020, I will let go of my inhibitions.

Really, Ben replied. Do you have anything in particular in mind?

To start off with, I was considering ignoring any embarrassment and just making a big display of wishing everyone a Happy New Year, Dom responded.

That sounds an excellent idea.  Do you mind if I join you?

Please do, Dom replied, I think it would help me keep my nerve if you did.

The next morning, much to the dismay of the abbot of their Trappist monastery, Brothers Dominic and Benedict arrived to Vigils with large signs around there necks which read, HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Padre

Tuesday Writing Prompt Challenge: Write something that starts with “In 2020, I will let go of…”

Mistress Springtime

Woman, Person, Female, Young, Actress, Suit, Epoch

Image by Mircea Iancu from Pixabay

Mistress Springtime, how she shivers

Waiting for her chance – to return

Bringing daffodils and crocuses

Cold Winter’s wrath to spurn

 

But for now she is a captive

Locked in, by his icy chill

But her escape plan is active

She’s a lady of iron will

 

Mistress Springtime – soon a captive

No longer shall she be

But she will in time triumph

Frozen Winter, he will flee.

 

Padre

 

Something in the Wind

 

Girl, Ruda, Beauty, Youth, Mystery, The Silence, Magic

Image by Jerzy Górecki from Pixabay

Quiet now, and listen –

Hear the wind – whistle and sigh –

It’s really rather musical –

It’s sound while passing by.

Yet we are warm and comfy,

Safe from it’s beating chill,

But it is still so nice to listen,

To nature’s melodic skill.

Quiet now and listen –

With me share and delight –

The chance for some togetherness –

As we cuddle on a windy night.

 

Padre

 

FOWC with Fandango — Musical

 

Crazy Santa with Weird Al (warning: contains very bad taste)

This week Jim Adams has challenged us to write about a song which has “crazy” in its lyrics.   Weird Al, therefore returns to my blog with The Night Santa Went Crazy.  Okay, it pushes some boundaries.  It is PG-13 or above, and has some disturbing imagery.  It’s not for those feint at heart.  But, for the fans of irreverent, bad taste, the lyrics are below.

Lyrics:
Down in the workshop, all the elves were making toys
For the good Gentile girls and the good Gentile boys
When the boss busted in, nearly scared them half to death
Had a rifle in his hands and cheap whiskey on his breath
From his beard to his boots, he was covered with ammo
Like a big fat drunk disgruntled Yuletide Rambo
And he smiled as he said with a twinkle in his eye
“Merry Christmas to all! Now you’re all gonna die!”

[Chorus]
The night Santa went crazy
The night Saint Nick went insane
Realized he’d been getting a raw deal
Something finally must have snapped in his brain

[Verse 2]
Well, the workshop is gone now—he decided to bomb it
Everywhere you’ll find pieces of Cupid and Comet
And he tied up his helpers, and he held the elves hostage
And he ground up poor Rudolph into reindeer sausage
He got Dancer and Prancer with an old German Luger
And he slashed up Dasher just like Freddy Krueger
And he picked up a flamethrower and he barbecued Blitzen
And he took a big bite and said, “It tastes just like chicken!”

[Chorus]
The night Santa went crazy
The night Kris Kringle went nuts
Now you can hardly walk around the North Pole
Without stepping in reindeer guts

[Bridge]
There’s the National Guard and the FBI
There’s a van from the Eyewitness News
And helicopters circlin’ ’round in the sky
And the bullets are flyin’, the body count’s risin’
And everyone’s dyin’ to know … oh Santa, why?
My, my, my, my, my, my
You used to be such a jolly guy

[Verse 3]
Yes, Virginia, now Santa’s doing time
In a federal prison for his infamous crime
Hey, little friend now, don’t you cry no more tears
He’ll be out with good behavior in seven hundred more years
But now Vixen’s in therapy, and Donner’s still nervous
And the elves all got jobs working for the postal service
And they say Mrs. Claus, she’s on the phone every night
With her lawyer, negotiating the movie rights

They’re talkin’ ’bout

[Chorus]
The night Santa went crazy
The night Saint Nicholas flipped
Broke his back for some milk and cookies
Sounds to me like he was tired of gettin’ gypped

Wo-oh, the night Santa went crazy
The night Saint Nick went insane
Realized he’d been getting a raw deal
Something finally must have snapped in his brain
Wo-oh, something finally must have snapped in his brain
Tell ya, something finally must have snapped… in his brain

 

Padre

 

Pizza Epiphany

Pizza Hawaiian, Pizza Plate, Court

Image by ASSY from Pixabay 

Wendy went to Pizza Hut – with her nephew, Steven

There she ordered a Hawaiian pie – it’s crust was crisp and even

Steve he said, “Fruit don’t belong, upon any pizza.”

So he ate the ham and crust, the rest – he did a leav-a.

 

“Come now Steve, and explain to me

If thou know’st it, telling

What’s wrong with pine – apple, 

It’s one of their best selling?”

 

 
“Aunty, it tastes so foul

Sweet and savoury mixing.

Try pepperoni – any day –

You don’t know what you’re missing.”

 

So a convert, she was made

Pineapple – it’s discarded –

Wendy’s now a Meat Feast fan

Her taste buds with pleasure bombarded.

 

Padre

 

Very loosely based on Good King Wenceslas

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yuletide Robbery

Pirate, Actor, Costume, Portrait

Pixabay

On crisp winter’s morning –

Nearing on to Christmas Day –

Everything was silent,

But for a lone horse’s neigh.

“Nay.  Quiet now Beauty,

We have quarry for to prey,”

Was said in a whisper

By the highwayman, Dray.

The coach – it approach-ed

None on board was aware,

Until “Stand and Deliver,”

Matthew Dray did declare.

A lady – she swooned,

And the dandy – he did quake,

Many were the entreaties

Those gentlefolk did make.

“Your purses now, please,”

Said the blaggard –  pleas ignoring,

The driver sat silent – his options exploring.

Then as swift as it had started,

It now was all done,

Dray rode off northwards,

With a wave of his gun.

 

Padre

Saturday Mix – Lucky Dip : homophones

The sets this week are:
nay – no
neigh – a horse’s cry

AND

plea – cries for help
please – good manners