The missing sock dilemma has long puzzled people. How do so many odd socks appear in the laundry? Some have hypothesised that they are the offspring of full pairs, while others hold that there is some maleficent being that devours odd socks. Many have dismissed this latter theory. That was until some chilling events took place in a launderette not for from the sight of an industrial chemical spill. It seems that the toxins in the water supply have caused mutations in the sock-eating entities. They have not only increased in size, but in their appetite. New government advice now recommends handwashing only. I repeat – hand wash only.