Wood Hood

The forest ain’t what it used to be. First it was the logging, then the influx of non-native trees. More recently, these newcomers have become a real problem for the more established members of the community. In fact, some of the younger of these have started to cluster together and seem intent on making the natives feel intimidated. You know, they don’t even call it the forest any more. They have started saying things like, “Welcome to the Wood.”


Padre

Well Ordered Militia

Jon Tyson at Unsplash

Some say that society is about to implode

There’s Left, and Right, and an Anarchy mode

Some store goods, bugout kits, and preps

Others will stay home, and watch their television sets

There will be those armed to the teeth

Others will trust the good of humanity,

And that disruption will be brief

Some on the Right will have the their militias

So will the Left, but odds are they will miss ya


Padre

The attached photo struck my fancy and gave rise to the idea of what a Liberal militia might be like. Okay, that said, it is rather tongue in cheek as I am generally left of centre in my views, though I am also an 0311 infantryman. So please read it as a bit of fun.

FOWC with Fandango — Kit

Emerging

man in black nike jacket and blue denim jeans sitting on boat

Braxton Apana at Unsplash

Time to emerge and finally come out

We hear they have the vaccine – they talked about

Herd immunity from two quick jabs

That’s a relief ‘cuz I going lock down mad

What’s this – “It could take to the spring?”

Okay, then I crawl back, like in that groundhog thing.


Padre

In The Know

 

Repair, Replacement, Tire, Worker, Service, Shop

Pixabay

It’s a fact,

Well so they say

You can verify it

In so many ways

On social media

It’s all the buzz

Though experts refute it

That’s because

They’re part of a cover-up

So says my Cuz

And he should know

Owing to the job he does

He hears things quite legit

When he’s changing tyres

Over at Kwik Fit

 

Padre

 

FOWC with Fandango — Fact

 

This like the Briefing story are meant as a bit of fun.  Please don’t take either as polarised views, they are just word plays, and topical.

Say What?

golf-3685616_1920

Corona Virus – the news may not be fake

But it’s not as big a deal as the media makes

Limiting commerce, it’s not the American way

So book a resort – where you can stay

Golf and relax, and gratuities pay

You can worry about your health some other day

 

Padre

 

The views above are offered as a satirical take on the views of certain prominent public figures.

Under-Calculation

dream_and_dramatic_fine_art_photography_alex_stoddard_04

Alex Stoddard

Like with many pets that look so cute when they are small, the Zurgs had miscalculated exactly how big their acquisition from that beach on the third planet would get.  They had found it while on last decade’s vacation and the children pestered them to keep it.

“Xixi, you really have to stop indulging the kids,” Xorgon Zurg said glancing over to the pet corner.

“What do you mean?” she replied.

“That biped you got for Ziron.  It’s eating us out of house and home.  And, its out-growing its tank again.”

“It’s not like you need to take care of it,” Xixi retorted.

“No, I just have to pay for the stupid thing.  Do you know what the vet bills come to?  I thought not.  ‘It’s a little one,’ you said.  ‘It won’t eat much.’  Do you know what the water alone costs?  What’s a Xenonian to do?”

Padre

Photo Challenge #304

 

 

 

Triggers

Firearm, Handgun, Revolver, Gun, Weapon

Pixabay

The wonderful thing about triggers
Is triggers are wonderful things!
They’re usually made out of metal
With mechanisms requiring no springs!
They’re handy, dandy, manly,
K’blum. K’blum. K’blum!
But the most wonderful thing about triggers is
They come with every gun.

Triggers are a right, fellas
Triggers, are hard to defeat,
Ev’ryone without one is defenseless,
Just pull, then repeat… and repeat
The wonderful thing about triggers
Is triggers often come with full clips!
They’re loaded with lethal propellant
They leave bad guys lying in heaps,
They’re handy, dandy, manly,
Guns, guns, guns, guns, guns!
But the most wonderful thing about triggers is
They come with every gun.

 

Sadly so!

 

Padre

Hopefully the NRA won’t appropriate my lyrics.  A word to my readers, I am ex-forces, and have fired hundreds upon hundreds of rounds.  This does not make me a fan of firearms, in fact it has only made me more sure that they shouldn’t be allowed for just anybody.  Please read the above lyrics, therefore, as satire of gun culture.

 

Tale Weaver – #256 – Trigger

 

St Stephen’s Day (Or the Boxing Day) Sales

Image result for st crispin's day speech

Henry V

 

This day is call’d the feast of  Stephen
He that outlives this day, and comes safe home,
Will stand a tip-toe when this day is nam’d,
And rouse him at the name of Stephen
He that shall live this day, and see old age,
Will yearly on the vigil feast his neighbours,
And say “To-morrow is Saint Stephen’s.”
Then will he open his cupboards and show his purchases,
And say “These bargains I had on Stephen’s day.”
Old men forget; yet all shall be forgot,
But he’ll remember, with advantages,
What deals he got that day. Then shall all the names,
Familiar in his mouth as household words—
Debenhams, Primark and Curry’s,
M & S and Peacocks and Matalan —
Be in their flowing cups freshly rememb’red.
This story shall the good man teach his son;
And Steven Stephen shall ne’er go by,
From this day to the ending of the world,
But we in it shall be rememberèd—
We few, we happy few, we band of shoppers;
For he to-day that spends his cash with me
Shall be my fellow shopper; be he ne’er so rich,
This day shall lighten his pocketbook;
And gentlemen in England now a-bed
Shall think themselves accurs’d they were not here,
And hold their e-deals cheap whiles any speaks
That shopped with us upon this Boxing Day.

 

Padre

 

With sincere apologies to the Bard