We were greeted at the research facility by a rosy cheeked press officer named Gretel. Her long plaited blonde locks beautifully framed her red cap.
She led me and the other members of the press to security, where our credentials were checked and we were issued with visitor badges. She then led us past a series of what seemed garden sheds, and then through a series of poly tunnels, until we reached a enormous greenhouse-like structure.
Here we were seated, and we awaited the important scientific announcement. At the stroke of noon, Professors Gluck and Gnoman came to the platform.
“Good afternoon, everyone,” Gluck began. “As many of you know, the DNA sequencing of Trolls was completed early last year, and proved definitively that that species had evolved from the native stones of Scandinavia, with the highest proportion of origin markers coming from Norway.”
Here Gnoman took over, “We are now prepared to present our own findings of our very own Gnome Genome Project. There were a few surprising finds, but some well known theories have also been validated.”
Gluck then pressed a button and the screen lit up with a series of maps and graphs. “The surprising aspects are clear on Table A, where, as you can see, we Gnomes share 10% of our DNA with the Scandinavian Trolls. Table B shows that, as suspected, the ceramic composition, which makes up our beings comes primarily from Germany, Austria, and a small section of eastern Poland. We can, however, trace the 10% “Troll Factor” to this location on Map One. The ‘TF’ seems to have crept into our DNA via Denmark.”
Here again, Gnoman interrupted. “What we can now say with absolute certainty is that despite the seeming anatomical similarities, is that genetically we are closer akin to Swedish and Danish Trolls than we are to the plastic Gnomes of Japanese and Chinese origin. In fact, we have no, I repeat no, DNA relationship with our Asiatic lookalikes.” At this there was a flurry of camera flashes, and several reporters bolted from the room into the prepared computer suite to file their copy.
A few of us human reporters remained, and Gretel again appeared to take us to a prepared lunch. We were taken through another long poly tunnel to a large summer house. As we walked in, savoury smells met my nostrils.
“I don’t know what it is, but it sure smells good,” I said.
“Oh, let’s see today is Monday, so that should be geranium goulash, but you really must try the chamomile gateau,” Gretel said. “In fact, I think I will join you,” she said looking up with a flirtatious smile.
Prompt A (character challenge): gnome
Prompt B (sentence starter): “I don’t know what it is, but it sure smells good.”