Continued budget cuts at the MoD were really starting to take their toll at the Costal Defense Station. “Come on men,” Lieutenant Martin shouted in frustration. “One of you has to have change for a fiver!”
Padre
Cuts
#CCC
Beware
Beware, Beware
Of the Daleks of the deep
They do not climb stairs
But through waterways they creep
Then unexpected on dry they emerge
Quickly exterminating
Before they once again submerge
Padre
Vessel Amid the Scrub
Vessel amid the scrub
Lost or purposely abandoned
Amongst the weeds and mud
What secrets do you contain
For those who discover you again?
Padre
Whirring
“Toby, stop sticking those cards into the fan.”
“But it makes a really cool sound,” he replied sticking the 8 of Hearts into the floor fan. “It makes a whirring noise just like a helicopter.”
“I don’t care what noise it makes, stop it now before something bad happens.”
Fifteen minutes later Toby was rewarded for his efforts by not only helicopter noises, but a ride in one to boot.
Padre
A Matter Of Interpretation
The great artist, Gustov Jorgensen called to his assistant. “Olaf, I need more red on the palette, and hurry before I lose my focus.”
After a few moments, he called out again. “Olaf, I’m waiting.”
There was still no response, so against his better judgement he looked away from his canvas to see Olaf diligently applying paint outside the window.
Padre
Also Ran
Jean-Claude Jean-Claude removed his goggles and scratched his head. He was dismayed at the turn of events. He had been challenged by some Englishman to compete in a slalom event, and though he was unfamiliar with something called “The East Anglian Stakes,” he couldn’t resist the chance to demonstrate his skill as “King of the Slalom.” But now he stood crestfallen with a participant’s ribbon in hand. Who could have known that there were no mountains in East Anglia?
Padre
The Escape
“Well Warden there is good news and bad news,” the guard said scratching his head.
“Explain yourself, Man,” the warden demanded.
“Sir, the good news is all of the prisoners are accounted for.”
“And, the bad news?”
“We still have this whole in the wall to deal with, but I still can’t account for what might have happened.”
Meanwhile in TV-land:
Padre
The Village
Number Six awoke and found himself in The Village, well a village. It was not the one he had fallen asleep in, however. He was confused. Where were the villagers? Where was the funky architecture? This village was, well, a village. One it seemed that he was the only occupant. It was somehow well maintained, but he was alone. It was then that he noticed that his badge bore the number one.
It seems that his constant attempts at escape and rebellion had landed him in solitary. No man may be an island, but he now was a village.
Padre
Thumbs Up
Seven-year-old Alishia and Tammy, her six-year-old sister, returned to the little tangle of bushes that they used as their fairy castle the previous summer. Back in November they had gone to the spot and found it looking very dreary. It was then that they noticed that the lone tree in their little hide-away had shed all its leaves. They had felt sorry for the tree and were afraid it would be cold. The went home and took a scarf and a pair of Dad’s gloves back to the tree. Now, in April they saw the scarf had fallen off, but one of the gloves was still in place.
“I hope it helped,” Tammy said.
“I think it did,” Alishia said. “She’s giving us a thumbs-up.”
Padre
End of the Rainbow
At the end of the rainbow you’ll find gold
That is the story that is often told
But it depends on the time of year
And only the case in August, I fear
It is then you’ll find rich ripe grain
Rather than mud after the rain
Padre
Padre's Ramblings 