“Is the intelligence report ready, Lieutenant Zorg?”
“Yes Commander” the Vivivian replied.
“A brief synopsis, please,” the Commander instructed.
“Very good, Commander. The third planet has limited useful resources owing to over exploitation, but may well be a viable contact opportunity. Our analysis of the communications from the planet suggest that the two dominant species seem to be “Humanians” and “Covidians,” though we have only really been able to decipher the communications of the former. It seems that there is presently a conflict, and the Humanians are in disarray at recent offensive moves by the Covidians.”
“Interesting” the Commander said. “Continue.”
“As I have said, this is all from the Humanian perceptive and they are divided in their responses. The two biggest factions seem to be Maskers and Anti-Maskers.”
“Maskers?” the Commander queried.
“Ah yes – masks seem to be some sort of artificial barriers that are placed over the respiratory organs of these creatures.”
“Hmm,” the Commander said contemplatively.
“The whole thing seems to have led to unrest as well with many Humanians avoiding the hostilities by isolating themselves and maintaining a distance from others of their species of what we calculate to be 0.6 of a Xeih. Others, however seem to be calling for the “taking of a knee,” some sort of bending of one of their self-propulsion organs. This seems to be resisted by one of the three main species leaders, a um, yes that’s it, Trump.”
“So they have a divided command structure?”
“Yes Commander – the other world leaders seem to be a Fauci, and a Greta. That is all we have at the moment though.”
“Thank you, Lieutenant. I think we will wait for their hostilities to end before we land and offer them universal health and happiness. They don’t seem prepared for it yet.”