St Stephen’s Day (Or the Boxing Day) Sales

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Henry V


This day is call’d the feast of  Stephen
He that outlives this day, and comes safe home,
Will stand a tip-toe when this day is nam’d,
And rouse him at the name of Stephen
He that shall live this day, and see old age,
Will yearly on the vigil feast his neighbours,
And say “To-morrow is Saint Stephen’s.”
Then will he open his cupboards and show his purchases,
And say “These bargains I had on Stephen’s day.”
Old men forget; yet all shall be forgot,
But he’ll remember, with advantages,
What deals he got that day. Then shall all the names,
Familiar in his mouth as household words—
Debenhams, Primark and Curry’s,
M & S and Peacocks and Matalan —
Be in their flowing cups freshly rememb’red.
This story shall the good man teach his son;
And Steven Stephen shall ne’er go by,
From this day to the ending of the world,
But we in it shall be rememberèd—
We few, we happy few, we band of shoppers;
For he to-day that spends his cash with me
Shall be my fellow shopper; be he ne’er so rich,
This day shall lighten his pocketbook;
And gentlemen in England now a-bed
Shall think themselves accurs’d they were not here,
And hold their e-deals cheap whiles any speaks
That shopped with us upon this Boxing Day.




With sincere apologies to the Bard

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